Why Don't They Make Fat Mannequins?

I went shopping yesterday because I finally hit a milestone. I've moved from the world of morbidly obese XXX-Large to simply obese XX-Large. For anyone that's overweight, shopping for clothes can be a frustrating and miserable experience. Now, I'm not talking about people who are 10 pounds or even 20 pounds overweight. There's always something on the racks for you. I'm talking about people who can't fit into anything in the entire store!

Like most pudgy guys, I've been relegated to a world of t-shirts and jeans. Most stores don't carry anything over XX-Large. Even stores like Target and Walmart that cater to the least common denominator - the overweight American - don't have enough material to make a shirt that will fit me properly.

What are my alternatives, the Big and Tall store? Screw that. I'm 5'8. I'm not tall so we all know why I'm walking through the door. Plus, the clothes look horrible. They're overpriced. And the thin girl at the counter, the one who can't believe her life has degenerated to serving fat guys, is silently judging me.

So where do I buy my clothes? The swapmeet. It's nothing but t-shirts and tube socks for as far as the eye can see. I've never had problems fitting into those. Well, at least not the tube socks. But now, that my weight's down from 278lbs and hover in mid 240's, there just might be a button down shirt in my future. Too bad they don't make fat mannequins at least that way I'd know if the shirt looked good before trying it on.

I finally hit a wall and that wall is called Parkour

One of the great things about losing 3o pounds is that you suddenly feel more energized and ready to take on new/more physical challenges. The truth, however, is that I'm still 245lbs. So one man's physical activity is another pudgy man's failure. Enter parkour.

If your not familiar with parkour than take a look at the video below.



Pretty freaking awesome, right? Of course there are two things that you probably noticed right off the bat:

1. All those guys where considerably leaner than my pudgy 245lbs.
2. They're also considerably younger than my 36 years.

To be honest, the age thing isn't something I really factor into my failed physical attempts. The weight thing on the other hand is something that limits what I actually get accomplished.

For example, last night I went to a parkour beginner's training session. It was painfully obvious before we even started that I was out of my element. But what the hey, I gave it a try anyway.

Bad move.

I got through the initial warm up jog and stretching portion just fine. Sort of. The light five minute jog to the get the blood pumping was no problem. I've been working on my cardio for weeks. The stretching was another thing. A pudgy guy stretching is like a beach ball doing pushups. There's a lot of rolling on the ground and little else.

But it wasn't until we got to the actually jumping that I thought to myself :

"Hey! Whoa there, slow down champ..."

Jumping at 245lbs isn't difficult. Landing is. My knees are not as springy as required. They're more like overtaxed shock absorbers. So that portion of my parkour training was out. And, if you didn't notice from the video above - jumping is pretty much what parkour is about.

Okay. Okay. Parkour isn't as simple as that. According to Cliff Kravit, the session's organizer and instructor, parkour is:

...a non-competitive discipline based on utility, progression, and durability in all aspects physical, mental, and emotional. Parkour presents a mindset of doing what is useful to become useful and to progress and sustain in all aspects. With this mindset and disciplined training, Parkour helps people in their life's journey, allowing them to overcome all obstacles that enter their path...

I believe it. I truly do. I think there's something so liberating about simply moving from point A to B in the quickest and most efficient method possible. It's something I aspire to. Something I yearn for. And something I'm going to have to place on the back burner for now. Maybe I'll try it again at 220lbs or 200lbs. I'm not sure. I'll let my body dictate.

Hell, even when I finally loose all the weight I probably won't be able to do half the things on that video. Of course, it'll be great to simply jump over a wall again instead wobbling my fast ass around it.

The Pudgy Wrestler Welcomes You!

Okay. This is the first post and I'm already unsure of what I'm going to write. Actually, that's not entirely true. I've been thinking about it for the past couple of hours and I kinda' have an idea of what I want to do with this blog. But, before I get to that let me tell you a little about myself.

I'm 36 years old. 5'8 inches tall. 245lbs. That's right - 245. I'm what you would consider fat obese. And trust me when I say that 245 is actually a good thing right now. Earlier this year I was up to 278lbs. That's the heaviest I've ever been. I plan to never to be that heavy again.

For those of you who don't know, life at 278lb sucks. Everything hurts. The tiniest of efforts leads to aches and pains. And sweat is just a natural part of your day. It's unhealthy and a self esteem killer. Everywhere you go you wish you weren't seen, but of course that's impossible since your ass is 278lbs.

I intend to change all that. I'm already on my way. I wish I would have started this blog earlier, when I was at almost 280lbs, but there's still a lot of weight to work off so there will be more than enough information to share as I move toward my objective.

200lbs? 180lbs? 160lbs?! I hope so.

What I intend to do is walk everyone through my weight loss endeavour. I'll be as honest as I possibly can and I'll disclose everything I do in my attempt to loose my rather large gut. Hopefully, this rather slow waddling journey will help some reach their goal just a bit faster and with less difficulty.